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Showing posts from October, 2016

Public Private Letters, Part 6: Dear (Hopeful) Husband.

Dear (Hopeful) Future Husband,

I don't know where you are, or if you even exist. Perhaps God is calling me to a life of singleness. I'd probably go down that route kicking and screaming though. (If I'm being honest, I already have been kicking and screaming while wondering where you are!)

It's always been part of my life dream to be married and have a family. So, I'm truly waiting for you, Husband. I am. But you are not a guarantee or a promise by any means. I know that God has promised me many things, and you, Husband, are not one of those things. This is the reason why I will treasure you all the more if you do enter into my life.

So far, in my 25 years, I've been perpetually single. This has been a blessing and a frustration. I fully believe God has protected my very tender heart from being broken time and time again. You see, I love freely and I love hard. Because of this, I am prone to falling in love (or infatuation at the very least) easily. The Lord my …

Public Private Letters, Part 5: Dear Colby.

Dear Colby,

I know I said my last letter to you would be the one in your casket, but I can't help it. Today would have been your 21st birthday and I've been thinking about you a lot over the past few months--especially today. I've thought about more and more how short your life was. Beautiful, but short. You seemed like you were only just beginning. We were growing closer over the months before you died. I feel as though so much has been stolen from me. But, then again, life IS a gift, one that we are not guaranteed, so how could that gift have been stolen if it wasn't ours yet? It was a gift I absolutely took for granted. I would like to say I'll never do that again, but that would be foolish. I take life for granted daily, even after your death.

Can I be really honest? Some days I do not want to be alive--to be breathing and hurting. I'm not suicidal, I promise. I would NEVER hurt myself. But some days I wish for an escape. I wish for pain-free. I long for He…