Showing posts from January, 2013

Out of Control.

Have you ever had a panic attack? It's pretty terrible. I'll attempt to describe what it feels like: Sometimes it feels like a hamster on a wheel--my mind is racing and racing, but I'm not actually going anywhere or making any kind of progress. Just running in circles.Sometimes it feels like my brain is caving in--every sound, every smell is intensified. My body temperature will rise very quickly, I'll start to feel like my skin is crawling, and I go into panic mode. Sometimes I end up screaming and throwing something out of that's always nice for whoever's in the room! [Not.] It's like my mind suddenly becomes overwhelmed, and the simplest decision or task can throw me way off track. If I ever just suddenly burst into tears, there's a good chance I'm having a panic attack.  So what's a girl to do about these panic attacks? Since I got out of the hospital, my mind's been in an almost constant state of panic. Anything can trig…

Both Sides Now.

So, I just got released from an extended stay in a psychiatric hospital. 
Yep. That's right. I'm one of "those" people. I can now say I've experienced what it feels like to "go crazy." Cause if what I just experienced wasn't "crazy," then I don't know what it is! And I can guess what you're thinking: "Why in the world would she go crazy and then want to tell the world about it?"
 My answer to that is complicated, but I'll try to sum it up like this:1. God has called me to write a book about this. I've heard him whisper to me deep down in my heart during dark days in the hospital: "We're going to tell the world this story, and they're going to listen."
2. If I'm going to "go crazy," might as well go ALL the way rather than just halfway, right? Might as well let the world join me in my crazy journey.

 So I'm going to write a book about it. 
The title? "Both Sides of Crazy."