Oh...It just takes some time.
Three years now. I've learned recently about traumatic memories that they don't change over time--well, they don't dull in intensity or something like that. I think that's basically it, although the therapist in the video I watched explained it much more scientifically. But if you have any kind of memory that feels like a flashback to something really intense (or traumatic) and you can still remember the smells, sounds, etc. some of that may never fade--it's like it gets engrained in our brains, like a 4D-photograph or something. I've been trying to learn about how trauma has affected my brain and body. I've also been trying to learn about the illness(es) that I lived through. The more I learn, the more shocked I am that I am even functioning as well as I am. I am still learning to give myself grace but I wish I had known all of this so much sooner than I could have given myself so much more grace and forgiveness...well, years ago. I wish I could tell you