Showing posts from December, 2013

Looking back: 2012 and Pre-Hospital.

(For the first time, I'm sharing more intimate details about my life before I went into the psychiatric ward. Please take into account that this is hard for me to write about and it's taking every ounce of strength I have to revisit this difficult time of my life. Thank you.)

Before I get to the big "blogathon" later this month, I'd like to take some time to look back on the year leading up to my hospital stay: 2012 in review.

It was a mixed up, crazy year full of highs and lows.

I don't remember much about the beginning of the year, except that I was sad. A lot. During the spring semester of my sophomore year, my brother was still in Abilene and he took care of me often. I wasn't in Sing Song that year, and it was killer. I was so lonely while everyone was rehearsing all the time. In February I caught a break when Seekers of the Word Drama Ministry decided to hold auditions. I had always wanted to be part of the group and since I wasn't very active …

Bittersweet Anniversaries.

I have two big anniversaries coming up. I cannot decide how I feel about them yet...bittersweet, I suppose. The first one is December 28th--the anniversary of when I went into the hospital. The second is January 14th--when I got out of the hospital. I'm going to do a blog-a-thon during the 18 days in between in which I write letters to people who have greatly influenced my life in the past year. I'll also be doing some writing for my book. I need to get my ideas and memories out of my head while they're still relatively fresh. So be looking for all of that coming up!

Anyway, back to what this post is anniversaries. I'm a very date-oriented person. I am good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and not-so-happy occasions like tragedies and deaths. So, December 28th and January 14th are forever cemented in my mind, as well as the 18 days in between. Like I said before, I'm not sure how to feel about them since this only marks one year. I'm not exac…

Glimpses of Heaven.

I didn't get to say this tonight because we ran out of time, but it hit me right in the heart tonight.

Tonight we had our last Seeker practice of the semester. Last practices each semester are special because they include awards, Web of Love, and Hot Seat. They're my favorite things, but I always forget until last practice rolls around each semester.

First, Web of Love. This involves a ball of yarn and saying encouraging things about each other. You throw the ball of yarn to the person you'd like to talk about and then they hold on to the yarn and throw the ball to someone else. Eventually there's an intricate web formed which shows the ways we are all connected. Why we don't do things like this more often or say what we really feel or mean is a mystery to me, but I guess that's part of what makes it so special. Many of us cried tonight during Web of Love, because we love each other that much and because we're saying goodbye to one of our beloved members: M…