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Showing posts from September, 2016

Public Private Letters, Part 4: Dear Merritt.

Dear Merritt,

Have I told you lately that I'm proud of you? Well, I am. I'm proud of how strong you are, how hard you work, how much you care about others, and so much more! Even though you're physically shorter than me, I always have and always will look up to you!

I was sad to learn you couldn't make it to my birthday celebration this weekend, but I hope all goes well with beginning the process of planning/writing your thesis! I have realized more and more that graduate school is not for me (at least not right now), and I have more and more respect for those who are able to succeed and do well in graduate school. You're one of those, of course! And you're going on to get your doctorate! I couldn't be more proud.

Merritt, you're one of those friends who can tell me the truth. You're a true friend because you are capable of being really honest with me about things that truly matter, and you handle that truth with grace. I trust you with knowing abou…

Public Private Letters, Part 3: Dear Brooke.

Dear Brooke,

It's your birthday! Hooray! You're 25 on the 25th. Happy Golden Birthday! I wanted to wish you a happy birthday by writing you this public private letter today.

Well, as you know, my birthday is in 5 days--just 5 days after you were born, so was I! Hooray for being born! But really, it's a blessing to be alive. The older I get, the more I realize this. I mean, living hasn't always been easy--for you or for me. There's been three times when my world sort of got turned upside down, and I know you've had a few of those as well. For me, the first was when I had cancer at age 10. The second time was the dark days of my hospitalization in 2013 and the following months of recover. The third time was when my cousin Colby and then my Aunt Jan died. You've stuck by my side through all of these and more. Through thick and thin, we've been pals. Since 4th grade we've been buddies. But more than buddies or pals, our friendship has grown into somethi…

Public Private Letters, Part 2: Dear Kayla.

Dear Kayla,

I have some news, perhaps. I think I have decided to get my hair cut. It's time for a change. I don't know how drastic of a change just yet, but I'm just saying...it may be pretty short by the end of this!

Yes, it's time for a change. I'll start from the outside and make my way into my mind and my heart. Starting with some physical changes, I'll make my way to spiritual, emotional, and mental changes. You see, the last few weeks things haven't been working. I've spent far too much time in bed, sleeping my life away. I'm done with that. Starting right now, I'm done with sleeping away my life. Although I am fed up with feeling "stuck" here in Abilene, I want more than anything to participate and be fully present. So...I'm doing what it takes to make some changes. Starting with my hair!

You're the first person I've told about my decision to get my hair cut. Granted, I just decided tonight, and I'm also posting …

Public Private Letters, Part 1: Dear Carlee.

Dear Carlee,
Remember a few years ago when we had an idea to make inspirational/funny YouTube videos back and forth to each other, like Hank and John Green do? Well, as you know, we never quite got that idea off the ground. It wasn't realistic for us, right now at least. Maybe some day when we are wildly successful and have more money and somehow more spare time...or not, whatever! Anyway, I was watching one of John Green's new videos, and then watched the one that his brother Hank made before that, and I suddenly I had an idea:Why don't I just write Carlee a letter on my blog?And, hence, Public Private Letters was born...like, an hour ago.  So let's get to it. 
Oh, how I miss you, my friend. I hope you are well. I was so very happy to learn of your nephew's birth. You're an aunt! How wonderful and exciting! It made my day to see pictures of him. I look forward to hearing more about him. 
I wish I could come see the show you're in right now, but alas, I cannot…

Unpredictable.

I had a great summer. It wasn't the summer I thought I would have by any means, but it actually turned out to be a great summer. I got into a routine, went to counseling, worked through some things, cleaned out my closet, went to several friends' weddings, visited California, etc. It was good, even great, like I said before.

I did not go back to Argentina this year, which is what I had originally planned. But plans change, do they not? I know that because I've lived in a pattern of changed of plans. Change has been my constant companion. I have a love-hate relationship with change. It is neither inherently good or bad--it just IS. Change happens. Change exists. Only my own thinking makes change good or bad.

So, NOT going back to Argentina this year? This was neither good nor bad. But I thought it was either one or the other, at times. But not going back this year was not really good OR bad...it just...WAS. I WAS going. And then I was NOT.

Now I'm back at ACU, for the 7…