The World Behind My Eyes

 "To love a girl who's used to standing on her own, you must be ready to stay. Be there to hold her hand when she insists, 'I've got this,' and reply, 'But I'm here to help.' Learn her world, the one she's built piece by piece, and find your place in it. Not by overtaking it, but by respecting what's already there. Be prepared to scale the walls she's built around her heart. Not to tear them down but to understand why they exist in the first place. And when you're inside, don't try to change her. Let her be. Because when you love her deeply and she knows she can trust you with her independence, she will hold onto you forever. She doesn't need someone to save her. She needs someone to stay." -Ivan Nicholo Meneses  This quote hit me hard today. I've spent the last several years working hard on myself in a variety of areas. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, financially, and so on...you name it, I...

 "I've written it all down, as a good writer should do."  I just spent literally all night binge watching a show on Netflix, something I have absolutely no business doing right now since I have a very important trip coming up tomorrow. I'm taking my professional exam in just two days now but I am so stressed about it that I am avoiding the stress by watching Netflix.  The show was "The Perfect Couple," a murder mystery based on a novel. One of the characters is a writer. Now that I'm writing my memoir more full-time and trying to learn about navigating the world of publishing (or at least starting the process of learning...), I find myself relating to writers more and more in shows and movies.  That line about writing it all down at the end of the show (said by Nicole Kidman's character) hit me hard. It even made me tear up a bit.  I've found myself dreaming about other writing other stories--not just mine. Yes, I am a dog trainer. That is a big ...

Things are really falling into place for me lately.  This is no accident. I have been working hard. I just feel the need to document it all because I am beyond grateful.  Five years ago I could not have imagined where I am today. Well, actually--I imagined them, but I just did not know if they were ever possible. The woman I am today felt like a shattered dream that could never become a reality for the past versions of myself. When I look back at 2013, 2015, 2017, or 2019 Haley, each of those feels like a different person that I barely know now and do not miss.  I used to believe I was broken. In some ways, I was. I was sick. No longer. I am whole, I am healed, I am well. I am content with where I am and who I am.  I have recently made friends with my body and brain again after the long journey we went on and the mistrust that followed. I was so angry at my brain for betraying me and attacking itself. That brain illness took such a toll on my poor body over an entire...