The World Behind My Eyes

 "I've written it all down, as a good writer should do."  I just spent literally all night binge watching a show on Netflix, something I have absolutely no business doing right now since I have a very important trip coming up tomorrow. I'm taking my professional exam in just two days now but I am so stressed about it that I am avoiding the stress by watching Netflix.  The show was "The Perfect Couple," a murder mystery based on a novel. One of the characters is a writer. Now that I'm writing my memoir more full-time and trying to learn about navigating the world of publishing (or at least starting the process of learning...), I find myself relating to writers more and more in shows and movies.  That line about writing it all down at the end of the show (said by Nicole Kidman's character) hit me hard. It even made me tear up a bit.  I've found myself dreaming about other writing other stories--not just mine. Yes, I am a dog trainer. That is a big

Things are really falling into place for me lately.  This is no accident. I have been working hard. I just feel the need to document it all because I am beyond grateful.  Five years ago I could not have imagined where I am today. Well, actually--I imagined them, but I just did not know if they were ever possible. The woman I am today felt like a shattered dream that could never become a reality for the past versions of myself. When I look back at 2013, 2015, 2017, or 2019 Haley, each of those feels like a different person that I barely know now and do not miss.  I used to believe I was broken. In some ways, I was. I was sick. No longer. I am whole, I am healed, I am well. I am content with where I am and who I am.  I have recently made friends with my body and brain again after the long journey we went on and the mistrust that followed. I was so angry at my brain for betraying me and attacking itself. That brain illness took such a toll on my poor body over an entire decade. My twentie