The Stretch Zone

When I worked as a camp counselor a few summers ago in Oregon, we used this analogy with campers about Comfort Zone, Stretch Zone, and Panic Zone, using three concentric circles of ropes lying on the ground. The smallest circle in the middle represents your Comfort Zone, the middle zone is your Stretch Zone, and everything outside of that is your Panic Zone. On the first day of camp, we would lay the ropes on the ground and apply this analogy to the team building and ropes course element things we would be doing together at camp, things in life in general, and our faith. I would describe some scenarios and campers would step to whichever Zone they felt that scenario would put them--like, hanging out with  friends; going to the dentist; meeting a new friend; giving a speech in front of a class; watching a movie on the couch; climbing to the top of the 30-foot tree later in the day (in the harness, of course); telling your crush you like them; etc. It was fun to see the kids laugh and play along. 

Here's the basic speech I would give after that:

The only place we grow is in our Stretch Zone. The point of the Comfort Zone is that it's safe and--obviously--comfortable. But if you only stay there, you'll never really make progress or have an adventure, right? You can't climb the tree on the couch. But, the Panic Zone is for protection--and everyone's panic zone is going to be different. When you're in your panic zone, you aren't having fun anymore and your brain shuts down. Some kids will hit their panic zone at 10 up the tree, while others can go up 50 feet with a blindfold and jump off the platform and still be in their Stretch Zone because they've been coming to camp for a few years. We want you to get out of your comfort zone, but not end up in your panic zone. If you're in your panic zone, we want to get you back down a level, to your stretch zone or comfort zone so you can relax.

(Then we'd have a discussion about this and how it applies to them, our lives, our upcoming week, etc)

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As a huge lover of analogies, I am a big fan of this one. I've carried it with me in my back pocket (figuratively) for the last few years as I have pushed myself to grow through many unforeseen challenges. Now, it occurs to me that my Comfort Zone has gotten much bigger because of pushing myself. 

Here's what got me thinking about this analogy the last couple of weeks: I went to New York City over Spring Break a few weeks ago with my best friend, and it was possibly my favorite trip I've been on so far in my life. 

Now, a few years ago this trip would have sent me into a tailspin--for so many reasons: planning, packing, the stress of being in the city, and thinking New York is scary/dangerous/overwhelming/over-stimulating. You name it, I would have probably been overthinking and in the Panic Zone about it. 

But...the trip was a dream. We still had to pack, plan, and face challenges. There was still plenty of stress. At one point we thought the trip might not happen due to complications, but I was even able to laugh about it. The few days before were so stressful that I barely got any sleep and had almost no time to throw things in my suitcase to make it at 4:30am to the I was harassed by a woman at the airport and it was one of the strangest experiences of my life that I still have barely processed. There was weather to deal with: we had to walk home in the rain 17 blocks one night because we misread the train schedule. But whatever, it was fun! We were on vacation and we had each other, duh!

I was also prepared for these challenges because I have been stretching myself in countless ways over the last few years. I've been building up my muscles. So, on the trip? I was practically drooling over moving to NYC! Our vacation was laid back and I had nothing but fun, peaceful, healing, and sweet quality time together with one of my dearest friends. Oh, and good food and Broadway theatre!

What I am happily realizing is that since I have really leaned into my stretch zone over the last few years, I am now seeing it pay off in all areas of my life. Living alone in a faraway state from my family and friends is not something I think I imagined for my life as a teenager. Yet, now I have done it three times! I don't think most of the things I've lived through were on the original plan or checklist of my life, but that's really just how life tends to go, isn't it? Stretching and learning to be flexible as things don't go according to plan is a helpful skill...and one I have often struggled with. 

Many things I went through over the last decade sent me into my Panic Zone for a long time. But Tragedy and Pain, as it turns out, are the best Stretch Zone teachers of all. If you can sit with them in your Stretch Zone for a while, you will grow. I can pretty much guarantee that! Growth also happens when we sit with others in their Pain and Tragedy--and that's where we'll find the most connection, community, and love. I can also guarantee that. It will not be comfortable. That's why it's not in our Comfort Zone. But it will be worth it! 

We don't get to choose everything in life, that's for sure! But over time I have handled it all, and I've always tried to make all the dang lemonade with the lemons, ya know?  

All of us must be gentle with ourselves. I'm at a place right now where I'm celebrating all these victories with graduation coming up in a few weeks, but I'm also really understandably stressed. Messing up is only human. I am always more willing to extend grace to others than to myself, but self-compassion is a work in progress. It's in the Stretch Zone, I suppose. while other times it's more in my Comfort Zone (which it wasn't always).

After all the growth I've done in the last few years, I think I'm ready to return to something a little more comfortable for a while...while I simultaneously do something that's extremely brave. I know that sounds cryptic, but that's all I'll say for now. *Wink!* 

Stay tuned! I know you all are on the edge of your seats waiting to find out, "What will she do next?!" Ha! just kidding, barely anyone reads this anymore and that's fine it's mostly for me

Get out there and do something that scares you a little today. Have an adventure!

Sincerely,

Haley